Meryl and the missing vaccine victims

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Meryl has been under pressure lately, with several government agencies pursuing her and the media becoming very unsympathetic in their reporting. So what better way to rustle up some support (and the usual drive for cash) than by showcasing a lineup of children “killed or injured by vaccines”? Great idea Meryl, soon the cash will surely be rolling in…

Oops, just one problem though…

Yes that’s right: Australia’s leading antivaccination campaigner and self-described “Australia’s leading expert on vaccination”, could not come up with a single report of vaccine injury in almost 24 hours. [There were zero responses on Twitter either.]

But Meryl frequently states that the real rate of death and injury from vaccines is “ten times higher than the official reports”, and that the she receives many such reports from her cult members marks, well from unnamed parents. And yet despite their reported gratitude for Meryl’s help, none of them responded to help her buy a new iPad the AVN fundraising drive.

Oh dear, Meryl!

Meryl’s accurate introduction

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Hilariously original blogger Shelley Stocken has proposed that whenever Meryl makes one of her increasingly infrequent public appearances, her host should introduce her to the audience with a great deal more honesty and accuracy than Meryl herself utters when she speaks. Something like this would do nicely:

Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, please welcome to the stage,
The best-known anti-vaccination fibber of our age.
A practitioner of obfuscation, fear and superstition,
Who’s been called out by the New South Wales Health Care Complaints Commission,
And the AMA, the ABC, OLGR and more.
She sells non-existent magazine subscriptions in her store.
Folks, the woman who’s about to speak to you in this pavilion
Doesn’t know what “research” means, nor “my mistake” nor “parts per billion”.
She doesn’t know ‘morbidity’ from ‘people being dead’;
And her only real credential is the brain inside her head;
A brain that pleads the Fifth when large donations disappear;
And that thinks “medical journal” means the same as “New Idea”
One that wanes when faced with facts, but faced with Natural News it waxes;
A brain that thinks that homeopathy is prophylaxis.
She’s an expert in the field of Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc;
You can bet the farm that everything she says today’s a crock.
It’s my pleasure to present, in all her dazed, downtrodden glory,
The queen of the conspiracy – I give you Meryl Dorey.

Meryl and the press release that flopped

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Everyone makes a mistake now and then, occasionally gets a fact or two wrong and usually corrects themselves when it’s pointed out. But only Meryl can demonstrate such a true mastery of mistakes that it is breathtaking to watch her in action. She truly is a Warrior of Wrong, the Emperess of Error!

Meryl’s ill-fated recent trip to Perth caused her a litany of woes, not least of which was triggering a government investigation of the AVN and significant publicity of same. Meryl decided to counter the onslaught of bad press the only way she knows how: by lying some more. Meryl put out a press release claiming there was no investigation into the AVN and alleging that the journalist who wrote the story also submitted the complaint.

A month later the results are well and truly in:

  • The investigation into the AVN is still under way
  • The complaint which triggered the investigation was not filed by the journalist, but by a member of the public.
  • There was no ethical breach by the journalist

Meryl Dorey managed to get every single fact in her press release wrong. That’s all of them. That type of form, that level of consistent & flawless mastery is only ever shown by the truly gifted who’ve also spent many long years practicing their craft. Yes, she’s the Queen of Cock-Ups, the Baroness of Bloopers, the Master of Misjudgment, the General of Goofs, the Duchess of Dumb, the Sovereign of Stuff-Ups…I could do this all day, but you get the idea.

Oh, Meryl!