Meryl’s new theme song

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Alie Thompson penned a new theme song for Meryl, in recognition of her level of expertise in science & medicine. It should be sung to the tune of “Wonderful World” by Sam Cooke. Enjoy!

Don’t know much about chemistry,
Don’t know much biology.
Don’t know much about a science book,
Don’t know much about journals or books.
But I do know that I love woo,
And I know that if you love woo, too,
What a disease ridden world this would be.

Don’t know much about immunology,
Don’t know much virology.
Don’t know much about mercury,
Don’t know what adjuvants are for.
But I know that one and one is three,
And if you can’t add up like me,
What a disease ridden world this would be.

I don’t claim to be an health adviser,
But I sure would like to be.
For maybe by having a brain, oh baby,
I can win you over to me.

Don’t know much about chemistry,
Don’t know much biology.
Don’t know much about a science book,
Don’t know much about journals or books.
But I do know that I love woo,
And I know that if you love woo, too,
What a disease ridden world this would be.

Chemistry
Biology
Science book
Journals or books.
But I do know that I love woo,
And I know that if you love woo, too,
What a disease ridden world this would be.

Meryl’s accurate introduction

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Hilariously original blogger Shelley Stocken has proposed that whenever Meryl makes one of her increasingly infrequent public appearances, her host should introduce her to the audience with a great deal more honesty and accuracy than Meryl herself utters when she speaks. Something like this would do nicely:

Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, please welcome to the stage,
The best-known anti-vaccination fibber of our age.
A practitioner of obfuscation, fear and superstition,
Who’s been called out by the New South Wales Health Care Complaints Commission,
And the AMA, the ABC, OLGR and more.
She sells non-existent magazine subscriptions in her store.
Folks, the woman who’s about to speak to you in this pavilion
Doesn’t know what “research” means, nor “my mistake” nor “parts per billion”.
She doesn’t know ‘morbidity’ from ‘people being dead’;
And her only real credential is the brain inside her head;
A brain that pleads the Fifth when large donations disappear;
And that thinks “medical journal” means the same as “New Idea”
One that wanes when faced with facts, but faced with Natural News it waxes;
A brain that thinks that homeopathy is prophylaxis.
She’s an expert in the field of Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc;
You can bet the farm that everything she says today’s a crock.
It’s my pleasure to present, in all her dazed, downtrodden glory,
The queen of the conspiracy – I give you Meryl Dorey.

Meryl fails at percentages

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From the AVN Facebook page:

Oh dear, could someone please explain to Meryl how percentages work?