Meryl’s accurate introduction

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Hilariously original blogger Shelley Stocken has proposed that whenever Meryl makes one of her increasingly infrequent public appearances, her host should introduce her to the audience with a great deal more honesty and accuracy than Meryl herself utters when she speaks. Something like this would do nicely:

Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, please welcome to the stage,
The best-known anti-vaccination fibber of our age.
A practitioner of obfuscation, fear and superstition,
Who’s been called out by the New South Wales Health Care Complaints Commission,
And the AMA, the ABC, OLGR and more.
She sells non-existent magazine subscriptions in her store.
Folks, the woman who’s about to speak to you in this pavilion
Doesn’t know what “research” means, nor “my mistake” nor “parts per billion”.
She doesn’t know ‘morbidity’ from ‘people being dead’;
And her only real credential is the brain inside her head;
A brain that pleads the Fifth when large donations disappear;
And that thinks “medical journal” means the same as “New Idea”
One that wanes when faced with facts, but faced with Natural News it waxes;
A brain that thinks that homeopathy is prophylaxis.
She’s an expert in the field of Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc;
You can bet the farm that everything she says today’s a crock.
It’s my pleasure to present, in all her dazed, downtrodden glory,
The queen of the conspiracy – I give you Meryl Dorey.
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Meryl’s medical qualifications

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In this short clip Meryl explains her medical qualifications and basis for calling herself, “Australia’s leading expert on (anti)vaccination”:

Yes, you heard that right: Meryl’s qualifications consist solely of “I have a brain”.

And that’s true, she does in fact have a brain. Here it is:

Meryl the government-certified liar

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In 2010, Meryl earned a unique distinction for her organisation: after a lengthy investigation it was found to publish antivaccination misinformation. In other words, Meryl was government-certified as a liar.

Well done, Meryl! All antivaccinationists lie, but no one else has lied as publicly, obviously and callously as you – sufficient to receive this unique recognition.

Oh, Meryl!

Meryl’s trouble with the truth

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Here’s a quick introduction to a few of Meryl’s favourite lies:

There is an ancient proverb which reads, “If Meryl Dorey’s lies were laid end to end, they would stretch…all the way from the start of a very large book to the end of it”.

For the last couple of years, Ken McLeod has been busy proving the wisdom of this saying in a unique way: he’s simply been documenting every lie that Meryl tells, as she tells them. Well, nearly every lie, because sometimes her lies come so thick & fast that no one can hope to keep up. But most of them are being captured and shared in ebooks: 3 full ebooks so far and doubtless still more to come in future.

Have a read for yourself and look at Meryl’s standard level of honesty:

Meryl Dorey’s Trouble With The Truth, Part 1

Meryl Dorey’s Trouble With The Truth, Part 2

Meryl Dorey’s Trouble With The Truth, Part 3

This woman couldn’t lie straight in bed!

Oh, Meryl…

Meryl and the press release that flopped

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Everyone makes a mistake now and then, occasionally gets a fact or two wrong and usually corrects themselves when it’s pointed out. But only Meryl can demonstrate such a true mastery of mistakes that it is breathtaking to watch her in action. She truly is a Warrior of Wrong, the Emperess of Error!

Meryl’s ill-fated recent trip to Perth caused her a litany of woes, not least of which was triggering a government investigation of the AVN and significant publicity of same. Meryl decided to counter the onslaught of bad press the only way she knows how: by lying some more. Meryl put out a press release claiming there was no investigation into the AVN and alleging that the journalist who wrote the story also submitted the complaint.

A month later the results are well and truly in:

  • The investigation into the AVN is still under way
  • The complaint which triggered the investigation was not filed by the journalist, but by a member of the public.
  • There was no ethical breach by the journalist

Meryl Dorey managed to get every single fact in her press release wrong. That’s all of them. That type of form, that level of consistent & flawless mastery is only ever shown by the truly gifted who’ve also spent many long years practicing their craft. Yes, she’s the Queen of Cock-Ups, the Baroness of Bloopers, the Master of Misjudgment, the General of Goofs, the Duchess of Dumb, the Sovereign of Stuff-Ups…I could do this all day, but you get the idea.

Oh, Meryl!

Meryl makes up immune suppression

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Meryl is generally shameless: she never seems to get embarrassed, she can say the stupidest things with a straight face and doesn’t get embarrassed when she’s show to be wildly, completely, inexcusably wrong.

So that makes this video a rare treat from the archives: Meryl saying something so spectacularly dumb that even she was embarrassed. The AVN took this video down and filed false DMCA notices to try and get it removed from other sites in the hope that it would disappear entirely. No such luck Meryl, we’re going to be laughing at this for a long time to come…

Oh, Meryl!

Meryl’s alphabet

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If you’re new to the unique and ever-amusing freak show that is Meryl Dorey, here is a handy quick-reference guide:

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